Well, it's 12/22/2012 and assuming that everyone out there is alright after the whole end of the world thing, I'm back with another review. With Christmas right around the corner, I figured I'd take a break from the whole shopping-wrapping-baking-working cycle that typically consumes this time of year and catch up on some recent films of the year that I had meant to see but never did. V/H/S is one of those films. Released in the USA back around the time Sinister was released in theater with limited theatrical screenings, V/H/S was a heavily hyped found-footage horror anthology that garnered enough financial success to warrant a sequel that should be out in the not too near future. But did it live up to the hype?
Found footage horror is nothing new. From way back in the 1980's, we had the infamous Cannibal Holocaust. The genre was brought back in the 90's with the major success of films like The Blair Witch Project, and again recently with the huge hit Paranormal Activity. While many of you may be sick and tired of the whole cliche, I actually have a soft spot for found footage films, probably because Cannibal Holocaust was one of the first films that I ever really loved way back in the day. V/H/S is actually a found footage anthology, consisting of six different shorts slapped together into one feature length film. I find it a little difficult to review a film like this because of the whole segmented storyline. There was such a drastic difference in the quality of certain segments, with some that I found truly enjoyable and others were just horribly bad. I suppose the best way to do this would be to review each segment individually, and then weigh the amount of good in this film against the amount of crap for an overall grade. Ready?
The first segment, Amateur Night, focuses on a group of guys who are in the market of making their own amateur porno's for websites and one night decide to bring home a couple of drunk chicks from the bar. One of the guys has a pair of spy glasses that films everything so that they can upload their trysts online. Little do they know, one of the girls is not what they'd expected. This segment was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere, and the part where the vampire chick reigns chaos was really fun. Easily the best segment in my book. 4/5.
Next, we have a group of petty thieves who are contracted by some mysterious outside source to break into a dilapidated house and steal a very rare, valuable VHS tape. Once inside, they find an old dead man in a lounge chair. The guys search the house and start to get some bad vibes. This one was ok. The scenes where the cameras were focused and you can see the old man dead in the background, you kinda knew he was gonna get up didn't you? Yes, there were tons of cliches, but this zombie-themed segment was still enjoyable and set up some tense atmosphere. 2.5/5
The next segment focuses on a newlywed couple road tripping across the country and filming their trip. One night at their hotel, a girl knocks on the door asking for a ride in the morning. They shut the door, discuss how freaky it was, and go to bed. The chick breaks into the room, and we get some creepy footage of her filming the sleeping couple and stealing money. I wasn't too impressed with this one. Yes. the murder was the most "real" and gritty. There are no supernatural elements like the other shorts, but I felt like a good premise was just snuffed too soon. The murder was quick and unsatisfying, mainly because it came out of nowhere, and the twist at the end was silly. 2/5
This next segment was just utter crap. It follows the story of a group of teenagers traveling up for a weekend at a lake. Every genre cliche in the world is thrown in here. Whether the acting was that awful to pay homage to the cheesy slashers of yesteryear, I don't know. But if it was, it was ineffective. The "twist" with the killer was just plain dumb. Awful, awful, awful. 1/5
Next we have a young long distance couple canoodling over Skype. She expresses concerns that her apartment is haunted, and she has a weird lump in her arm. She calls her boyfriend in the middle of the night to show him the disturbances. This segment easily has the best jump scares of the lot. There's a lot of really dumb moments though. For example, why wouldn't the chick with the huge hole in her arm go to the damn doctor? The segment was supposedly about aliens, but I feel like the filmmakers themselves didn't even have an explanation for it. Maybe they don't have to, since it was a short, but this one didn't really do it for me. One of the better ones out of all six segments though, so 3/5.
The last segment was probably my second favorite. Here we have a group of boys heading into what they think is a friend's house for a Halloween party. Despite the fact that no one else is there, they go in and proceed to explore the house. What they eventually find is some kind of cult sacrifice ritual going on in the attic. At first they run out of there, but then feel guilty about leaving the screaming girl, so they go back for her. They make their escape through the possessed house, running through halls of demonic hands. While the twist at the end of this one was still a bit predictable, it was good. Moral of the story? Crazy demon bitches aren't grateful, even if you save them. 3.5/5
Overall, I'd say I did enjoy the film, but it was far from great. It's a quick popcorn flick with some shining moments, but nothing groundbreaking here. Very average horror.
2.5 OUT OF 5 STARS
** 1/2 out of *****
Found footage horror is nothing new. From way back in the 1980's, we had the infamous Cannibal Holocaust. The genre was brought back in the 90's with the major success of films like The Blair Witch Project, and again recently with the huge hit Paranormal Activity. While many of you may be sick and tired of the whole cliche, I actually have a soft spot for found footage films, probably because Cannibal Holocaust was one of the first films that I ever really loved way back in the day. V/H/S is actually a found footage anthology, consisting of six different shorts slapped together into one feature length film. I find it a little difficult to review a film like this because of the whole segmented storyline. There was such a drastic difference in the quality of certain segments, with some that I found truly enjoyable and others were just horribly bad. I suppose the best way to do this would be to review each segment individually, and then weigh the amount of good in this film against the amount of crap for an overall grade. Ready?
The first segment, Amateur Night, focuses on a group of guys who are in the market of making their own amateur porno's for websites and one night decide to bring home a couple of drunk chicks from the bar. One of the guys has a pair of spy glasses that films everything so that they can upload their trysts online. Little do they know, one of the girls is not what they'd expected. This segment was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere, and the part where the vampire chick reigns chaos was really fun. Easily the best segment in my book. 4/5.
Next, we have a group of petty thieves who are contracted by some mysterious outside source to break into a dilapidated house and steal a very rare, valuable VHS tape. Once inside, they find an old dead man in a lounge chair. The guys search the house and start to get some bad vibes. This one was ok. The scenes where the cameras were focused and you can see the old man dead in the background, you kinda knew he was gonna get up didn't you? Yes, there were tons of cliches, but this zombie-themed segment was still enjoyable and set up some tense atmosphere. 2.5/5
The next segment focuses on a newlywed couple road tripping across the country and filming their trip. One night at their hotel, a girl knocks on the door asking for a ride in the morning. They shut the door, discuss how freaky it was, and go to bed. The chick breaks into the room, and we get some creepy footage of her filming the sleeping couple and stealing money. I wasn't too impressed with this one. Yes. the murder was the most "real" and gritty. There are no supernatural elements like the other shorts, but I felt like a good premise was just snuffed too soon. The murder was quick and unsatisfying, mainly because it came out of nowhere, and the twist at the end was silly. 2/5
This next segment was just utter crap. It follows the story of a group of teenagers traveling up for a weekend at a lake. Every genre cliche in the world is thrown in here. Whether the acting was that awful to pay homage to the cheesy slashers of yesteryear, I don't know. But if it was, it was ineffective. The "twist" with the killer was just plain dumb. Awful, awful, awful. 1/5
Next we have a young long distance couple canoodling over Skype. She expresses concerns that her apartment is haunted, and she has a weird lump in her arm. She calls her boyfriend in the middle of the night to show him the disturbances. This segment easily has the best jump scares of the lot. There's a lot of really dumb moments though. For example, why wouldn't the chick with the huge hole in her arm go to the damn doctor? The segment was supposedly about aliens, but I feel like the filmmakers themselves didn't even have an explanation for it. Maybe they don't have to, since it was a short, but this one didn't really do it for me. One of the better ones out of all six segments though, so 3/5.
The last segment was probably my second favorite. Here we have a group of boys heading into what they think is a friend's house for a Halloween party. Despite the fact that no one else is there, they go in and proceed to explore the house. What they eventually find is some kind of cult sacrifice ritual going on in the attic. At first they run out of there, but then feel guilty about leaving the screaming girl, so they go back for her. They make their escape through the possessed house, running through halls of demonic hands. While the twist at the end of this one was still a bit predictable, it was good. Moral of the story? Crazy demon bitches aren't grateful, even if you save them. 3.5/5
Overall, I'd say I did enjoy the film, but it was far from great. It's a quick popcorn flick with some shining moments, but nothing groundbreaking here. Very average horror.
2.5 OUT OF 5 STARS
** 1/2 out of *****